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No active hazards reported. Remain vigilant.

Safety Directives (1974)

  • Never retrieve a frisbee from a bespoke electricity substation.
  • Always un-plug your television set before retiring for the evening.
  • Look right, look left, look right again.
  • Do not play on building sites. They are fraught with hidden perils.
  • Warn children of the dangers of abandoned refrigerators.
  • In the event of a fallout warning, stay indoors and tune to the Home Service.
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